Post by AbsieB on Jan 2, 2009 11:28:57 GMT -5
Ok. Im kinda freaking out about posting it so here are some reasons why it may be rubbish:
1. I wrote this in a month as part of national novel writing month. On some bits I wrote 500 words in 20 minutes using a 'write or die' site I found.
2. I wanted it to be a good kids story so some of it is very basic tell it not show it stuff
3. This is based on a daydream I had when I was 8 after having watched 'Spirit: stallion of the cimmaron' The first part is almost identicle.
Well enough of reasons why you shouldn't read it. Here it is:
I started my life in the wild plains with my mother. My mother and father had belonged to the circus until my mother ran away before she had me. We lived with our herd and ran from plain to plain. Our life was like this until one day when I was still quite young.
I had been running along behind the herd, trying to keep up, when two humans jumped out of the bushes. I reared up in fear. They had ropes so they quickly caught me. I cried out to my mother who ran to my side and got caught. She pulled and kicked but the ropes held her strong. Our herd ran on without us kicking up dust as they ran towards the horizon.
We travelled with the humans for many days. My mother started off our journey trying to escape but soon gave up. The men rode on horses but the horses were not like us. There eyes had no personality or life in them. I remember being scared; I didn’t want to end up like that. The humans didn’t harm me, though they always carried a stout whip in one hand. I plodded on after my mother. I knew I was hopeless to do anything else but a bit inside of me was intrigued. I wanted to know where we were going and what would happen to me there.
Some nights we would be tied to posts while the humans slept in tents. Other nights we would keep walking while the humans slept on their mounts. They had no fear of the horses running off and I was sure that meant terrible punishments would come if they did. Why else would they stay? Maybe there were rewards to being a human’s horse, but was it really worth the lifeless look in your eyes? I vowed to myself I would never lose myself to these creatures. Whatever other decisions I had to make I would decide later but I knew that the wild winds would keep me safe as long as I listened to my heart and my instincts. My mother always had a look of outraged defiance in her eyes but each day it grew weaker. I refused to let myself be scared. I had always wanted to learn how to look after myself and one thing I learnt now was to put fear out of your head while your future is uncertain. You don’t know what lies ahead: it could be good; it could be bad. There’s no point in worrying until you know.
That's the first 400 words or so. At the moment there's 5000 words I've actually written. Plz comment!
1. I wrote this in a month as part of national novel writing month. On some bits I wrote 500 words in 20 minutes using a 'write or die' site I found.
2. I wanted it to be a good kids story so some of it is very basic tell it not show it stuff
3. This is based on a daydream I had when I was 8 after having watched 'Spirit: stallion of the cimmaron' The first part is almost identicle.
Well enough of reasons why you shouldn't read it. Here it is:
I started my life in the wild plains with my mother. My mother and father had belonged to the circus until my mother ran away before she had me. We lived with our herd and ran from plain to plain. Our life was like this until one day when I was still quite young.
I had been running along behind the herd, trying to keep up, when two humans jumped out of the bushes. I reared up in fear. They had ropes so they quickly caught me. I cried out to my mother who ran to my side and got caught. She pulled and kicked but the ropes held her strong. Our herd ran on without us kicking up dust as they ran towards the horizon.
We travelled with the humans for many days. My mother started off our journey trying to escape but soon gave up. The men rode on horses but the horses were not like us. There eyes had no personality or life in them. I remember being scared; I didn’t want to end up like that. The humans didn’t harm me, though they always carried a stout whip in one hand. I plodded on after my mother. I knew I was hopeless to do anything else but a bit inside of me was intrigued. I wanted to know where we were going and what would happen to me there.
Some nights we would be tied to posts while the humans slept in tents. Other nights we would keep walking while the humans slept on their mounts. They had no fear of the horses running off and I was sure that meant terrible punishments would come if they did. Why else would they stay? Maybe there were rewards to being a human’s horse, but was it really worth the lifeless look in your eyes? I vowed to myself I would never lose myself to these creatures. Whatever other decisions I had to make I would decide later but I knew that the wild winds would keep me safe as long as I listened to my heart and my instincts. My mother always had a look of outraged defiance in her eyes but each day it grew weaker. I refused to let myself be scared. I had always wanted to learn how to look after myself and one thing I learnt now was to put fear out of your head while your future is uncertain. You don’t know what lies ahead: it could be good; it could be bad. There’s no point in worrying until you know.
That's the first 400 words or so. At the moment there's 5000 words I've actually written. Plz comment!