Post by ♠Rafiki♠ on Oct 18, 2007 20:55:12 GMT -5
Good evening lions and lionesses!! Welcome to another TLKBN brought to you by Teensimba, Kiarasmate, and I. We come to you again live from the baobab tree, with your 20th dose of the Looney news that springs up in the world around us.
Announcing the addition of a new after-news section, “The Urban Dictionary!!” Here exists a special little “word of the day” style dictionary, so you learn slang AND what it means! Now you’ll actually know what’s what when you hear friends and co-workers talking like this!
Teensimba says: Bathroom infested snakes!
Brooklyn resident Nadege Brunacci had gotten the scare of her life washing her hands in her bathroom. Normal enough, right? HAIL NAW!! This time, when she took a glance at her toilet, there was not just water, but the large head of a 7 foot long python!! "I turned on the light and screamed, ‘Oh, my God!’.” Nadege told a newspaper "It still makes my heart race." When she saw the python in the toilet, she slammed the lid down, put a heavy box on the top, and phoned police. Not surprisingly, the police didn’t buy the story, and the few that DID believe said “We don’t do snakes.” So, with the aid of plumbers [Mario and Luigi perhaps?] and neighbors, they were able to tear apart the pipes in the apartment below her, where the snake was attempting to slither off into. "I was anxious about it getting flushed and never coming out," Said the neighbor whose pipes had to be sacrificed. Either way, the snake was eventually captured, and taken to a shelter, where it is being cared for until it is able to be moved to a permanent residence. As for Nadege, she’s still a bit shaken. “When I brush my teeth, I'm looking over my shoulder," She said.
Teensimba says: Note to self: Brush your teeth alone.
Next time you brush your teeth, do yourself a big favor and watch out for anyone near you, or you might end up in serious trouble. A [anonymous] 30-year-old housewife in India didn’t learn this fact until she had to go through the ordeal first-hand. One morning, while brushing her teeth, she claimed her husband accidentally bumped into her while she was scrubbin’. After the bump, she noticed that the toothbrush had been using was only partially there. Looking around, she couldn’t find the brush, and then freaked out when her nose began to bleed profusely. She’d complained of being short of breath, and having horribly smelly discharges from her nose. It wasn’t until a full two months later that doctors finally performed a CT scan, and were alarmed to find the missing 3 inch piece of missing brush lodged in her nasal cavity. So, surgeons hurriedly removed it, with her well on the way to recovery.
Teensimba says: Reminds me of some kind of that, "Memory" game.
So the doctors in Italy don’t have the greatest coordination and memory, according to reports from police last Tuesday. Apparently, an old woman of a 76 years died in her flat, and was left there until residents complained of horrid smells coming from the room. Police came and found her body, as well as a doctor who came. Unfortunately, the doctor left the flat thinking the woman would be taken care of by the paramedics, and the paramedics in turn thought she’d been handled by the doctor. The result: She was left in the apartment 9 more days, until someone else came and found the body. Luckily, she’s been taken care of this time, and is on her way to eternal rest.
Teensimba says: Where can I get these super power undershorts at?
Residents in an Australian apartment woke to strange noises Tuesday night/morning, and looked down to find police tending to a man in nothing but his jockey shorts. He’d fallen from the 9th story of the building!! Miraculously, the silly fool managed to survive the 100 foot fall with only cuts, scrapes, bruises, and a suspected broken leg. Either way, police suspect the almost nude man fell whilst trying to construct a wooden walkway to a neighbor’s apartment. He lives, and is in stable condition now. Residents of the apartment hope he’s “…learnt a very big lesson from a very lucky fall.”
We’d like to thank you, lions and lionesses for tuning in on our 20th [belated] news broadcast! This has Been Teensimba, Kiarasmate, and me, Rafiki with your news, signing off.
Today’s Daily Quote:
“A kiss is a lovely trick, designed by nature, to stop words when speech becomes superfluous.”
~Ingrid Bergman~
Today’s Daily Fact:
The average ear of corn has eight hundred kernels arranged in sixteen rows.
Vital information for your everyday life:
"If you're not sure what to do and you have that strong "gut" feeling to do something, trust your "gut" feeling."
NEW! Today’s lesson urban lingo:
G.O.A.T.
Acronym for “Greatest Of All Time.” Tight. The best.
Those shoes are G.O.A.T..
Thank you Kiarasmate for the Quote and Fact, and Teensimba for the headlines and Vital info!!
Announcing the addition of a new after-news section, “The Urban Dictionary!!” Here exists a special little “word of the day” style dictionary, so you learn slang AND what it means! Now you’ll actually know what’s what when you hear friends and co-workers talking like this!
Teensimba says: Bathroom infested snakes!
Brooklyn resident Nadege Brunacci had gotten the scare of her life washing her hands in her bathroom. Normal enough, right? HAIL NAW!! This time, when she took a glance at her toilet, there was not just water, but the large head of a 7 foot long python!! "I turned on the light and screamed, ‘Oh, my God!’.” Nadege told a newspaper "It still makes my heart race." When she saw the python in the toilet, she slammed the lid down, put a heavy box on the top, and phoned police. Not surprisingly, the police didn’t buy the story, and the few that DID believe said “We don’t do snakes.” So, with the aid of plumbers [Mario and Luigi perhaps?] and neighbors, they were able to tear apart the pipes in the apartment below her, where the snake was attempting to slither off into. "I was anxious about it getting flushed and never coming out," Said the neighbor whose pipes had to be sacrificed. Either way, the snake was eventually captured, and taken to a shelter, where it is being cared for until it is able to be moved to a permanent residence. As for Nadege, she’s still a bit shaken. “When I brush my teeth, I'm looking over my shoulder," She said.
Teensimba says: Note to self: Brush your teeth alone.
Next time you brush your teeth, do yourself a big favor and watch out for anyone near you, or you might end up in serious trouble. A [anonymous] 30-year-old housewife in India didn’t learn this fact until she had to go through the ordeal first-hand. One morning, while brushing her teeth, she claimed her husband accidentally bumped into her while she was scrubbin’. After the bump, she noticed that the toothbrush had been using was only partially there. Looking around, she couldn’t find the brush, and then freaked out when her nose began to bleed profusely. She’d complained of being short of breath, and having horribly smelly discharges from her nose. It wasn’t until a full two months later that doctors finally performed a CT scan, and were alarmed to find the missing 3 inch piece of missing brush lodged in her nasal cavity. So, surgeons hurriedly removed it, with her well on the way to recovery.
Teensimba says: Reminds me of some kind of that, "Memory" game.
So the doctors in Italy don’t have the greatest coordination and memory, according to reports from police last Tuesday. Apparently, an old woman of a 76 years died in her flat, and was left there until residents complained of horrid smells coming from the room. Police came and found her body, as well as a doctor who came. Unfortunately, the doctor left the flat thinking the woman would be taken care of by the paramedics, and the paramedics in turn thought she’d been handled by the doctor. The result: She was left in the apartment 9 more days, until someone else came and found the body. Luckily, she’s been taken care of this time, and is on her way to eternal rest.
Teensimba says: Where can I get these super power undershorts at?
Residents in an Australian apartment woke to strange noises Tuesday night/morning, and looked down to find police tending to a man in nothing but his jockey shorts. He’d fallen from the 9th story of the building!! Miraculously, the silly fool managed to survive the 100 foot fall with only cuts, scrapes, bruises, and a suspected broken leg. Either way, police suspect the almost nude man fell whilst trying to construct a wooden walkway to a neighbor’s apartment. He lives, and is in stable condition now. Residents of the apartment hope he’s “…learnt a very big lesson from a very lucky fall.”
We’d like to thank you, lions and lionesses for tuning in on our 20th [belated] news broadcast! This has Been Teensimba, Kiarasmate, and me, Rafiki with your news, signing off.
Today’s Daily Quote:
“A kiss is a lovely trick, designed by nature, to stop words when speech becomes superfluous.”
~Ingrid Bergman~
Today’s Daily Fact:
The average ear of corn has eight hundred kernels arranged in sixteen rows.
Vital information for your everyday life:
"If you're not sure what to do and you have that strong "gut" feeling to do something, trust your "gut" feeling."
NEW! Today’s lesson urban lingo:
G.O.A.T.
Acronym for “Greatest Of All Time.” Tight. The best.
Those shoes are G.O.A.T..
Thank you Kiarasmate for the Quote and Fact, and Teensimba for the headlines and Vital info!!