Post by ♠Rafiki♠ on Aug 2, 2007 1:58:51 GMT -5
Good day Lions and Lionesses! This is TLKBN, your source for retarted news stories! I'm rafiki the mandrill coming to you live from my baobab tree!
At least the talking sandwitch in the muffler wasn't hurt....
Phillip C. Holliday Jr., 42, pleaded not guilty Tuesday to felony charges of criminal endangerment and drunken driving. He ran a red light nearly missing an oncoming truck, which he swirved and missed. Making an erratic U-turn through a gass station, he crossed the street and smashed into a light pole. When police aprehended him, he told them he was free of blame, since he siad that he wasn't driving. He told the police a Unicorn was the driver. He supposedly had 14 previous drunk driving covictions and luckily no one was harmed.
I never did like doing roof work...
A 91 year old german man had to be scraped off the roof of a building he was working on in the eastern city of Magdeburg, on Tuesday. Chillax, he's totally fine. But, several people saw the elderly man on the roof, and some even thought he was going to commit suicide. "In fact he was just re-coating the roofing with bitumen [tar]. But then he slipped," said a police spokesman.
"When we got there, he was like a beetle on its back, with his arms and legs sprawled out and completely glued to the roof," he added. "Due to his age, he couldn't free himself from his unfortunate situation." The elderly man was stuck in the tar on his back untill several firefighters were able to remove him using ropes and ladders. He is expected to make a full recovery, although tragically, his clothes didn't make it.
So this is the thanks Greenpeace gets?!
A japanese fisherman sadly drowned shortly off the coast of Japan, rescuing a whale. Two other fisherman came to the aid of the 10 meter long spermwhale, who had wandered into a bay off the southwestern island of Shikoku, about 800 km (500 miles) southwest of Tokyo. He tried helping the beast when it paniced and turned on them, striking the small fishing boat he was in, knocking him over board. The two others were rescued, but they were'nt able to get to the 58 year old man in time to save him.
My god, the microwave's on fire! Fetch me the Windex!
Jonathan Zaletel has been charged with suspicion of manufacturing dangerous drugs, possession of chemicals and equipment to manufacture dangerous drugs, possession of drug paraphernalia, possession of marijuana and criminal damage. Why? He tried to cook methamphetamine in a toaster late Tuesday night. Everything was going well, untill the toaster caught fire, which burned most of his condo down. He tried to douse the flames with Window cleaner, and when it became apperant that this would not work, he rushed off to the local wal-mart to purchase a fire extinguisher. By the time he'd returned, firefighters and the condo's own sprinkler system had brought the flames under control. No word on if he pleads guilty to any of the charges listed.
Thank you lions and lionesses, this has been another issue of TLKBN, and I'm your host, Rafiki the mandrill, live from his Baobab tree urging you to be safe during your spring break. Thank you, and good night.
Today's Daily Quote:
"Eagles don't flock."
-Louis L'Amour
Today's daily fact:
During the scene where Kovu's training is being reviewed by Zira, the notch in her ear switches ears several times.
At least the talking sandwitch in the muffler wasn't hurt....
Phillip C. Holliday Jr., 42, pleaded not guilty Tuesday to felony charges of criminal endangerment and drunken driving. He ran a red light nearly missing an oncoming truck, which he swirved and missed. Making an erratic U-turn through a gass station, he crossed the street and smashed into a light pole. When police aprehended him, he told them he was free of blame, since he siad that he wasn't driving. He told the police a Unicorn was the driver. He supposedly had 14 previous drunk driving covictions and luckily no one was harmed.
I never did like doing roof work...
A 91 year old german man had to be scraped off the roof of a building he was working on in the eastern city of Magdeburg, on Tuesday. Chillax, he's totally fine. But, several people saw the elderly man on the roof, and some even thought he was going to commit suicide. "In fact he was just re-coating the roofing with bitumen [tar]. But then he slipped," said a police spokesman.
"When we got there, he was like a beetle on its back, with his arms and legs sprawled out and completely glued to the roof," he added. "Due to his age, he couldn't free himself from his unfortunate situation." The elderly man was stuck in the tar on his back untill several firefighters were able to remove him using ropes and ladders. He is expected to make a full recovery, although tragically, his clothes didn't make it.
So this is the thanks Greenpeace gets?!
A japanese fisherman sadly drowned shortly off the coast of Japan, rescuing a whale. Two other fisherman came to the aid of the 10 meter long spermwhale, who had wandered into a bay off the southwestern island of Shikoku, about 800 km (500 miles) southwest of Tokyo. He tried helping the beast when it paniced and turned on them, striking the small fishing boat he was in, knocking him over board. The two others were rescued, but they were'nt able to get to the 58 year old man in time to save him.
My god, the microwave's on fire! Fetch me the Windex!
Jonathan Zaletel has been charged with suspicion of manufacturing dangerous drugs, possession of chemicals and equipment to manufacture dangerous drugs, possession of drug paraphernalia, possession of marijuana and criminal damage. Why? He tried to cook methamphetamine in a toaster late Tuesday night. Everything was going well, untill the toaster caught fire, which burned most of his condo down. He tried to douse the flames with Window cleaner, and when it became apperant that this would not work, he rushed off to the local wal-mart to purchase a fire extinguisher. By the time he'd returned, firefighters and the condo's own sprinkler system had brought the flames under control. No word on if he pleads guilty to any of the charges listed.
Thank you lions and lionesses, this has been another issue of TLKBN, and I'm your host, Rafiki the mandrill, live from his Baobab tree urging you to be safe during your spring break. Thank you, and good night.
Today's Daily Quote:
"Eagles don't flock."
-Louis L'Amour
Today's daily fact:
During the scene where Kovu's training is being reviewed by Zira, the notch in her ear switches ears several times.