Post by ♠Rafiki♠ on Aug 2, 2007 1:36:16 GMT -5
Good evening lions and lionesses. I'm Rafiki the mandrill and we'd like to thank you for joining us here tonight for our special two part feature. This is part I of the double feature. This is TLKBN, your healthy dose of retarded news, from the comfort of your computer screen.
Our first story: Behold, for you gaze upon one of the most unusual finds you can make as a miner!
Chiampas, Mexico is where a most unusual discovery was made: A fossilized frog, estimated to be over 25 million years old. It was encased in amber, which is fossilized tree sap. If this is an authentic find, it will be the first in the region of it's type. The chuck contained the frog [which was about 0.4 inches long] was brought by the miner to a private collector who has lent it to scientists for study. Only a few others have been found, and those were in the Dominican Republic. They are all from the genus Craugastor, and the decendants of these frogs still roam the region. Scientists believe the fossil is as old as it is, by studying the rock around where it was found. One scientist, Gerardo Carbot, wanted to bore a small hole into the fossil, in hopes of finding preserved DNA in it. According to George Gramaldi and several other scientists, DNA breaks down over time. BUT, another scientist, George O. Poinar says that DNA extraction is theoretically possible. "If it's well-preserved ... and none of the frog has been exposed to the outside, where air could enter in and oxidize the DNA, it could be possible to get DNA." Carbot however is doubful that he will be allowed to do so anyway, as it is such a rare, and unusual peice.
Do you hate your name? Well, be glad you got it instead of...
Brfxxccxxmnpcccclllmmnprxvclmnckssqlbb11116 (pronounced /al bin/) is the name a swedish couple tried to give their son. When he was first born, he was not named, and for 5 years he went with out a name. So, in 1996 the couple was fined 5,000 kronor, [$682 USD] and in response submitted the unusual name. The court did not recognize the name, and upheld the fine. THe couple tried to pronounce the spelling of the name so it stars with "A".
Who comes up with this crap?!
In what can be called one of the larger pro-environment screw-ups of the century, 40 years ago the Florida government developed a scheme to return to the environment. This is commendable, but they are idiots. The plan of action was to develope an artificial coral reef-- by dumping over 2 million car tires 1 mile off shore from fort Lauderdale. They were left there in 1972 and the plan was that coral reefs would grow on it. BUT, they haven't and almost no marine wild life has grown on them. Some of the tires have been wired together with nylon string and steel wire, but the mess which spans 31 football fields. They are washed ashore constantly, and thousands have tangled themselves around coral reefs nearby endangering their growth.
FOR THE LOVE OF THE BRIGHT AND HOLY, *DO* *NOT* *TRY* *THIS* *AT* *HOME*!!
Austrailian bricklayer Phillip Kerkhof was fishing for squid on a jetty when he spotted the 4 ft. long bronze whaler shark lurking in the shadows. He later admitted that he was drunk on Vodka. "I just snuck up behind him, and eventually I went for the big grab and I fluked it and got him," Kerkhof said. "He was just thrashing around in the water ... starting to turn around and try to bite me and I thought 'well, it's amazing what vodka does'," The shark did bite a hole in Kerkhof's jeans, but he himself only suffered a minor scratch. Phillip has said he's already had 2 meals from his kill, and he plans to use the rest in a barbeque with his friends in town, 870 miles west of Sydney. "It's beutiful mate-- Resturant quality."
Medical science today! Sheesh... What CAN'T they do?
The florida based company, Lexington international LLC. has developed a laser comb, the "Hairmax Comb" which underwent a rigorous 6 month clinical trial and is the only of it's kind to earn the endorsement FDA for the only drug-free treatment for curing baldness at home. The comb encreases the number of thick hair folicals in the scalp by using low level lasers. Like all good things, it does not come cheap, at a hefty price tag of $545.
My goodness, school ciriculums today...
Austrian teacher Michael Brechter, 57, got the can after giving his class of 9 year olds a lesson on swearing. He told them to write homework about words like the "A**" and "S***" and "Moron" and "Tart". In his defence, he said "I was not teaching them anything they did not already know.
"It was an attempt to make school lively and fun. My ultimate aim was to show what words should not be used."
Be glad you do not live in cartel-warring infested cities....
Sao Paulo Brazil: Some random con artist called the family of a young man, and told them that he had their son hostage. It is unfortunate, but gang related kidknappings are very common around that area. The targets were an elderly retired couple, and the mother naturally sent her husband to get the nessisary hostage funds from their bank, which was 60,000 reiasn [$28,708 USD]. Tragically, the husband died of a heart attack, and the son was called on his cell-phone a while afterwards-- Perfectly safe from harm.
Ever wanted to have a street named after you?
For 100,000 forints per metre of it's 8 streets, [260 E.U.R.] the impoverished northeastern budapest town of Ivan will name after you, for 300 years. The downer: Law decrees the land must be named after one of the deceased. "If, for example Barbra Streisand, whom I like a lot, has no street named after her, she may decide to have one in our village," said Gabor Ivady, mayor of Ivad where most of the 400-strong population live.
Our first story: Behold, for you gaze upon one of the most unusual finds you can make as a miner!
Chiampas, Mexico is where a most unusual discovery was made: A fossilized frog, estimated to be over 25 million years old. It was encased in amber, which is fossilized tree sap. If this is an authentic find, it will be the first in the region of it's type. The chuck contained the frog [which was about 0.4 inches long] was brought by the miner to a private collector who has lent it to scientists for study. Only a few others have been found, and those were in the Dominican Republic. They are all from the genus Craugastor, and the decendants of these frogs still roam the region. Scientists believe the fossil is as old as it is, by studying the rock around where it was found. One scientist, Gerardo Carbot, wanted to bore a small hole into the fossil, in hopes of finding preserved DNA in it. According to George Gramaldi and several other scientists, DNA breaks down over time. BUT, another scientist, George O. Poinar says that DNA extraction is theoretically possible. "If it's well-preserved ... and none of the frog has been exposed to the outside, where air could enter in and oxidize the DNA, it could be possible to get DNA." Carbot however is doubful that he will be allowed to do so anyway, as it is such a rare, and unusual peice.
Do you hate your name? Well, be glad you got it instead of...
Brfxxccxxmnpcccclllmmnprxvclmnckssqlbb11116 (pronounced /al bin/) is the name a swedish couple tried to give their son. When he was first born, he was not named, and for 5 years he went with out a name. So, in 1996 the couple was fined 5,000 kronor, [$682 USD] and in response submitted the unusual name. The court did not recognize the name, and upheld the fine. THe couple tried to pronounce the spelling of the name so it stars with "A".
Who comes up with this crap?!
In what can be called one of the larger pro-environment screw-ups of the century, 40 years ago the Florida government developed a scheme to return to the environment. This is commendable, but they are idiots. The plan of action was to develope an artificial coral reef-- by dumping over 2 million car tires 1 mile off shore from fort Lauderdale. They were left there in 1972 and the plan was that coral reefs would grow on it. BUT, they haven't and almost no marine wild life has grown on them. Some of the tires have been wired together with nylon string and steel wire, but the mess which spans 31 football fields. They are washed ashore constantly, and thousands have tangled themselves around coral reefs nearby endangering their growth.
FOR THE LOVE OF THE BRIGHT AND HOLY, *DO* *NOT* *TRY* *THIS* *AT* *HOME*!!
Austrailian bricklayer Phillip Kerkhof was fishing for squid on a jetty when he spotted the 4 ft. long bronze whaler shark lurking in the shadows. He later admitted that he was drunk on Vodka. "I just snuck up behind him, and eventually I went for the big grab and I fluked it and got him," Kerkhof said. "He was just thrashing around in the water ... starting to turn around and try to bite me and I thought 'well, it's amazing what vodka does'," The shark did bite a hole in Kerkhof's jeans, but he himself only suffered a minor scratch. Phillip has said he's already had 2 meals from his kill, and he plans to use the rest in a barbeque with his friends in town, 870 miles west of Sydney. "It's beutiful mate-- Resturant quality."
Medical science today! Sheesh... What CAN'T they do?
The florida based company, Lexington international LLC. has developed a laser comb, the "Hairmax Comb" which underwent a rigorous 6 month clinical trial and is the only of it's kind to earn the endorsement FDA for the only drug-free treatment for curing baldness at home. The comb encreases the number of thick hair folicals in the scalp by using low level lasers. Like all good things, it does not come cheap, at a hefty price tag of $545.
My goodness, school ciriculums today...
Austrian teacher Michael Brechter, 57, got the can after giving his class of 9 year olds a lesson on swearing. He told them to write homework about words like the "A**" and "S***" and "Moron" and "Tart". In his defence, he said "I was not teaching them anything they did not already know.
"It was an attempt to make school lively and fun. My ultimate aim was to show what words should not be used."
Be glad you do not live in cartel-warring infested cities....
Sao Paulo Brazil: Some random con artist called the family of a young man, and told them that he had their son hostage. It is unfortunate, but gang related kidknappings are very common around that area. The targets were an elderly retired couple, and the mother naturally sent her husband to get the nessisary hostage funds from their bank, which was 60,000 reiasn [$28,708 USD]. Tragically, the husband died of a heart attack, and the son was called on his cell-phone a while afterwards-- Perfectly safe from harm.
Ever wanted to have a street named after you?
For 100,000 forints per metre of it's 8 streets, [260 E.U.R.] the impoverished northeastern budapest town of Ivan will name after you, for 300 years. The downer: Law decrees the land must be named after one of the deceased. "If, for example Barbra Streisand, whom I like a lot, has no street named after her, she may decide to have one in our village," said Gabor Ivady, mayor of Ivad where most of the 400-strong population live.