Post by ♠Rafiki♠ on Aug 1, 2007 18:14:00 GMT -5
Behold, the pride land's only news channel/thread is finnaly here! Come here if you want updates on stupid events, dumb accidents, and other misc. stupid newsas I'll be posting them periodically. This thread probably ain' the best idea, but w.t.h.... I'm your anchorman, Rafiki the mandrill, coming to you live from the baobab tree news center!
I've not gotten a chance to look up anything, so I'll be recapping some things that have already happened. Everything here is 100% garenteed (to the best of my knowledge) authentic news coverage.
In new york, a man was shot 15 times by police. Why? He was eating a pear, and they mistook it for a hand grenade.
These have happened around here, proof of why fire is bad.
Several people were burned to death when there mobile home burned down. Appearantly, a woman had fallen asleep on the couch, with a live cigarette in her hand. The ashes must have ignited the couch, because it began burning. The family had decided it would be best if they threw the couch out of the front door and let it burn in the yard. Alas, it got jammed in the doorway and all seven died when the place went up in flames. There were no survivors.
This man had caught a rat, and decided to burn it to get rid of it. He lit it on fire and threw it in the trash can, only to have it jump out again, and run inside his home. It got lost (still burning) in the wall of his house, and as a result the entire house burned to the ground.
This happened recently:
Police and fire fighters had gotten a call today to rescue a man stuck in an unusual place. The man (Name withheld) had allegedly fallen asleep in a dumpster [of all the godless places in the world] and was picked up by a passing garbage truck. Crushed by over two tons of garbage, it's a miracle the crew heard him in time to call for help. Police teams and fire crews work furiously for seveal hours sifting through all the trash. The man was found, alive, and only suffered bruises, cuts, and a few broken bones. He is expected to make a full recovery. The only bad thing was several police uniforms stank so badly they had to be sealed in plastic trash bags and sent away for cleaning.
Thank you, that concludes today's brodcast, here on TLK news. Rafiki the mandrill, sighning off.
I've not gotten a chance to look up anything, so I'll be recapping some things that have already happened. Everything here is 100% garenteed (to the best of my knowledge) authentic news coverage.
In new york, a man was shot 15 times by police. Why? He was eating a pear, and they mistook it for a hand grenade.
These have happened around here, proof of why fire is bad.
Several people were burned to death when there mobile home burned down. Appearantly, a woman had fallen asleep on the couch, with a live cigarette in her hand. The ashes must have ignited the couch, because it began burning. The family had decided it would be best if they threw the couch out of the front door and let it burn in the yard. Alas, it got jammed in the doorway and all seven died when the place went up in flames. There were no survivors.
This man had caught a rat, and decided to burn it to get rid of it. He lit it on fire and threw it in the trash can, only to have it jump out again, and run inside his home. It got lost (still burning) in the wall of his house, and as a result the entire house burned to the ground.
This happened recently:
Police and fire fighters had gotten a call today to rescue a man stuck in an unusual place. The man (Name withheld) had allegedly fallen asleep in a dumpster [of all the godless places in the world] and was picked up by a passing garbage truck. Crushed by over two tons of garbage, it's a miracle the crew heard him in time to call for help. Police teams and fire crews work furiously for seveal hours sifting through all the trash. The man was found, alive, and only suffered bruises, cuts, and a few broken bones. He is expected to make a full recovery. The only bad thing was several police uniforms stank so badly they had to be sealed in plastic trash bags and sent away for cleaning.
Thank you, that concludes today's brodcast, here on TLK news. Rafiki the mandrill, sighning off.